It was square in shape, therefore, it was not smart. (not B.C.E.), the not-so-mighty Crazy Cow was separated at birth from the traditional Archaic Wooly Cow. The crazy cow which went cannibalistic before raping other cows and then dying a slow, painful death. These were thought of to be an evolutionary step Years later as more excavations went on it the surrounding neighborhood, more bones were discovered as mammals and looked more like a fat-pig-of-a-cow type of animal. You see the same similar structure in modern day cows served at McDonald’s and other fine greasy restaurants. The other items were given proper names, and thus, the entire backyard was dug up to find similar bone structures, all resembling garbage that fit together perfectly to form the skeletal structure of the Calvinsaurous. Years later when he moved out of the house as a hobo, Calvin stumbled upon the remains on the side of the road and discovered BITCHES that the Coke bottle was a piece of a giant, stiff udder of an enormous beast. Thought of as typical buried garbage, Calvin’s Mom threw them away. The first bones that were discovered resembled an empty Coke bottle, a couple of empty cans of Chef Boyardee, and two sporks (or foons.
Geologist Calvin first dug up the first bones in his backyard when he was 6. It is what you and I would call the Calvinsaurous. It was the supreme ruler of the land it walked on (yes! It could walk!). It weighed between 14,000 and 25,000 pounds.
The first of these fowl smelling beasts was tall, very tall. It is when the first bison walked the Earth. The reason being that the cow would begin to have brain lapses on when to breathe, when to think to breathe, when to think about thinking and put all the stress into the udder, causing milk to be produced until it explodes to when the cow has burnt enough brain cells to open its mouth to begin to breathe.ģ0,541,124.75846 years ago is thought of to be the beginning of the Bison Era.
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This states in their dominance as a “Higher Squirrel”, and so the other intelligent life forms, such as the Six-Foot Baby tend to stay away from them.Įven with the behavior and high intellect of a red squirrel, the typical dairy cow would not survive much more than a full minute unattended by a loyal farmer wearing suspenders made out of haywire. The red squirrel, when threatened (and hungry), will typically attack their enemy with a devastating force and chew off their gonads. These things seem to not add up with other evolutionary advanced organisms, such as the common red squirrel.
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However, if let to be on their own in the wild, the cow would forget how to eat grass and revert to drinking other cows’ urine as a lost train of thought and would not lay down for the lack of cow shit in the wide open desert where it would be most likely stranded. Cows seem to feel no physical pain, no mental pain, and are aggravated or frightened instantly by a firm, steady glance of “you look tasty”.
Ordinary bison, like the dairy cow, the heifer, and the bull have all been called into question on their existence. Many geologists are confused and baffled on the evolution of the cow.
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